My mom sent me the following email and for some reason it just touched or spoke to me. I guess knowing all that she did for us growing up and then how I feel most of the time at our home. It is lengthy, but I just thought I would share it with all the other moms out there who feel this way sometimes.
The Invisible Mom
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because noone can see me at all. I'm invisible.
The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more. Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that my hands once held books and my eyes were ones that once studied and it was my mind that helped me to graduate - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . Iwasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour- the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
* No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
* These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
* They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
* The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, no one will ever see it. And the workman replied,'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride. I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.
The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Invisible Mom
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Five Christmases
Gran & PawPaw with all the grandkids - Hayden, Anna, Avery, Ashlyn, Savanna, Elli Kate, and Shane.
We began with Gran (who's 2 years older than PawPaw) and Shane (the baby).
And then down the line we went.... PawPaw and Elli Kate.
Aunt Pam and Savanna.
Uncle Randal and Ashlyn.
Uncle Todd and Avery.
Aunt Penni (holding up an inside joke sign, ha) and Anna.
And since Penni took longer to open up her gifts, then Hayden began ripping into his, which worked out well since there is 8 adults to 7 kiddos. So... that left me and Jody to open our gifts together (can I get an Ahhhhh)
Christmas #2
Time: Christmas Eve Night
Lots of cousins and gifts!!!
Granny in front of her tree - so beautiful!
Bre Bre and Shane playing with one of their gifts.
My silly boy.
Santa always over does it! We may have to have a talk with him in the future or maybe not.
Shane loved his train.
Savanna and Shane opening their gifts from us. Hannah Montana wig, headset and dance video for Savanna and a barn with animals for Shaner.
At school, they had a penguin Christmas shop and Savanna purchased gifts for us. She got me this neat Christmas tree candle. She was so proud and so was I. She's so sweet.
Savanna as Hannah Montana. It really changed her looks and she had a blast wearing it.
Getting ready to rip and tear into all the gifts.
DeAnna, Gramps, and Mike watching the kids.
Gramps and MiMi with the grandkids (don't ask me what Shane is doing inside his overalls - must be a guy thing)
Christmas #5
Grandma with her grandkids - Sam, Jody, Sara, and DeAnna
Grandma with her great grandkids.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
New Years
Well, I made it back from Denver safe and sound and Jody is coming in tonight. I will be so glad when he is back - the kids are missing him so bad! He's been gone from them a week and one day.
Now for my promise of past updating. On New Years Eve, Jody and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! We were not really planning on doing anything special since we had taken our little get away trip to Jefferson but one of the ladies I work with is an avid Stars fan and obtains season tickets every year. She isn't always able to go and graciously gives her tickets away. This time they were playing on New Years Eve and knowing it was our anniversary, she gave them to us. She's the best! Thanks Patty! We had the best time. I am not a big fan of watching hockey on tv, but in person with the atmosphere is was so wonderful and to top it off they won (4 to 2). I found a room on-line at the Sheraton in downtown. It was great getting away to celebrate both a new year and being married to a great guy. We are wanting and hoping to plan a big trip for our 10 year - we'll see.
Not knowing anything about hockey, we were fortunate to sit beside a sweet couple from McKinney and they filled us in on the players and other stuff.
They were giving out these neat Star calendars at the door. We brought one back for Patty. Thursday, January 15, 2009
My Baby Is Three!!
I can NOT believe by baby boy will be 3 tomorrow. And this horrible mom is going to be out of town on the day we were blessed with him, but my other kid (Jody) needs me more and I guess we can always celebrate later - or that's what I keep telling myself to make me feel better. The other day, I was thinking about when I was expecting him and how we had scheduled my C-section on a day when Jody would be in Denver. He flew back early, of course, and I can vividly picture my Dad and me (this huge whale) waiting for him at the airport and how my heart skipped when I saw Jody come around the corner through the doors. Neither one of us really realizing how God would bless us with the life miracle of our son the next afternoon.
Shane is such a light to our lives! There is so much I could list about my precious baby but here are three things in honor of his 3 years:
1) He is so loving, always giving hugs and smiling. But what really cracks Jody and me up is when he will hear the tone of our voice get irritated or if we are getting on to him he will say "Love you, Momma" or "Love you, Daddy" right in the middle of our talking or frustration and will NOT stop saying it until he has been acknowledged "Yes, I love you, too". It sure makes it hard to keep a straight face when we are trying to discipline him. I really think he picked it up from Jody, because I caught Jody doing it to me when I was griping at him the other day, ha.
2) He is SO independent! We are finally getting the potty training thing almost down. This past week he has done so well, but he wants to do everything himself and he wants you to shut the door and leave him alone. Usually, I don't give in to this request but this morning I did and I went in to find poo on his elbow (how in the world did it get only there I will never know) Oh, the joys of potty training. But just about in everything, you can hear him say "I do it."
3) Finally, he continues to be all boy! This past weekend we were outside our tack office pricing products and getting ready for Jody to leave and some of our friends stopped by. They had this huge mule on their trailer and of course Shane wanted to ride (see picture above). Later, Jody and I were talking about Shane and Jody commented that he was surprised that Shane just didn't bale off when he was through riding him because that is what he does with the ponies we have. But with them, you don't have far to fall. He has no fear and is always jumping off of something (i.e. steps, beds, couches, hay, & ponies). Savanna would NEVER have done those things, so we have finally concluded that girls and boys are totally different - aren't we smart.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Back To The Future
Why does time have to fly by so fast? I have decided to start with what's going on now and then travel back to the future and update with Christmas / New Years later.
Jody has left for the big Denver Market Show and I am flying out tomorrow to meet him there and help out. These past few weeks, we have spent all of our time getting ready for this show. This is an important one for us because we are able to show our products and meet wholesale distributors who might be interested in carrying our products. We had a guy help us make a catalog 2 years ago and this year we wanted to update it and add some of our new stuff. This time, I was able to be more involved (learning how to create and design the pages for the catalog) so it has taken up so much of my time - you do not want to visit my house right now. I have a lot of house work to catch up on after this weekend. Anyway, for those few readers who have kept checking in, please don't give up on me and thank you for your dedication, ha ha!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Christmas Time's A Comin!
Let me see if I can give an abbreviated version of what's been going on so that everyone won't be worn out from reading a book of Stanley happenings.
First, on Wednesday, the 3rd, KCS Railroad had a Christmas train stopping in Sulphur Springs. So I picked up Shane early from daycare, met my co-workers daughter and grandson at work and took off to go check it out. This was the first time that Braden and Shane met and they became fast friend. We got this picture to compare their sizes - Braden will be 4 in February and Shane will be 3 in January. Shane, of course, is going to be a big boy.
The train was really cute. We stood in line for awhile, but then we had to leave early before going inside because we would be late for church. Shane was so upset, but I told him we would go to a train soon thinking I would take him to the North Pole of Texas train.
Next, we went to the Christmas parade in Mt. Vernon. It was a nice warm day, but by the time it started it was so cold and it seemed to get colder as the night progressed. I am not at all a fan of cold weather!Before the parade started, we stopped in at the Geneology Society to see Granny and get a cookie. They had their windows decorated so cute so I snapped a few pictures of the kids in front of it.
After the parade, we grabbed something to eat and went over to Gene and Sherry's house and met up with more friends to go to the North Pole of Texas train ride. The Screws are a wonderful family who have been doing this for years in front of their house. Every year it gets bigger or they add more to it. They are now up to three trains running at the same time. Everything is free, but they do take donations of crayons, backpacks, pens, pencils, toothbushes, etc. to send to less fortunate children in the Philippines. It was sooooo cold but we had the best time and warmed up with some hot chocolate later.
.JPG)
